Eulogy II

Today we said farewell to my brother Paul. I elected to give a short eulogy as part of the service.

As everyone here probably knows, Paul was a smart-ass.

All of us Ferrells are to one degree or another, though, so it’s not a unique trait in the family. 

When we were kids, there was a well-known singer named Kate Smith. For the younger folks in the audience, she was our grandparent’s age, and had risen to fame in the ‘30s. In our lifetime she was mostly known for a rafter-shaking version of “God Bless America,” and she appeared on TV semi-frequently to sing it.

Paul hated her; hated her singing that song. It just got under his skin. Naturally that dislike was fodder for teasing by the rest of the family. “Oh look, Kate Smith’s on Mike Douglas today” or some such was sure to get a rise.

I hadn’t thought of that in decades, but as we were pondering music for the service and the video, the thought crossed my mind to include Kate’s “God Bless America” as one final family in-joke.

Don’t worry, the urge passed.

Eulogy

My father passed a month ago today. This is what I said at his funeral.

Here is a short list of things I got from my father:

1. Blue Eyes.

2. Angiomas.
Tiny red dots on the skin. My sister Kellie has them, too.

3. A dry sense of humor, rich in sarcasm and irony.
We all have it. Ask brother-in-law Leroy.

4. Being a crossword puzzle nerd.
Actually, that’s something that both grandmothers loved, too. So I come by it honestly from multiple directions.

5. A love of Star Trek, Star Wars, and science fiction in general.
We did not ask him to take us to see Star Wars or the first Star Trek movie – he took us with him when *he* went to see them.


6. Baseball.
He took me to my first Braves game soon after they came to town – I seem to remember it was right around my first grade year, so that would have been around 1967 or 1968. I never quite picked up the football/basketball/hockey/whatever bug, but baseball has stuck with me. Go Braves. Go Dores.

7. A love of the past.
It’s no coincidence that I majored in anthropology and considered archaeology as a profession. He enjoyed reading about history, and vacations frequently included prowling old cemeteries.

8. A capacity to work long hours.
Raising four kids on a fireman’s salary wasn’t the easiest task. A lot of you know that until he got to up in rank, he always worked second jobs. The fruit of that was not only having everything we needed (if not everything we wanted), but the freedom to enjoy restaurant meals, vacations, and the like. We ate our share of Spam and even meatless meals at times, but we always had enough.

9. An appreciation of a good paint job.
I did not inherit the ability to DO a good paint job, but thanks to watching him paint a million rooms (ours and other people’s), I know what one is supposed to look like. To this day I marvel at his ability to paint a straight line where ceiling met wall or on window grills without a scrap of protective tape. 

10. A taste for culinary adventure.
We weren’t epicures – we ate basic Southern classics with the usual amount of 70s convenience food sprinkled in. We did, however, eat out a fair amount, and tried new things. One day Dad brought home a “recipe” from a fellow fireman – it was an exotic treat called “nachos.” These were tortilla chips from a box, topped with a chunk of cheddar cheese and a slice of pickled jalapeno, then broiled. This was our introduction to Mexican-American food, long before anyone else we knew had even heard of it. Before long we were making our own tacos from Old El Paso kits and traveling up to Northlake Mall to go to El Chico, because you couldn’t get Mexican food on our side of town. We were quite cutting edge.

11. A generosity of spirit.
I actually fail at this more than I succeed, but I try. He, and Mama, were always doing things for other people, whether it was Mama baking the 9 billionth batch of cupcakes for PTA or the fire station, or them helping an elderly couple when they had trouble doing for themselves. The door to our house was always open to any random whoever we dragged home, and there was always room for another chair at the table. 

12. The idea that girls could do the same things that boys did.
Being raised in the 60s and 70s, I was still subject to lots of cultural norms about what girls should and shouldn’t do. We were supposed to grow up to be secretaries and nurses and teachers, if we had jobs at all. We played with dolls and Easy-Bake Ovens. We didn’t play catch. As late as my 6th grade year, girls’ basketball in Georgia was still played half-court because we delicate girls just weren’t up to the task of running the full length of the court.

If you asked Dad if he was a feminist, he would probably have given you the stink-eye. And yes, I loved my Barbies and my Easy-Bake Oven. But I also loved when we played softball in the yard, or went fishing. He took me along to trim hedges and cut grass on his landscaping jobs. I “caddied” for him when he played golf. He took me to Braves games, and taught me what he was learning in his psychology and algebra classes when he went to Clayton Junior College as an adult.

Dad never treated me like a substitute son, or tried to make me a tomboy. He simply included me in whatever he was doing as a matter of course.

By the same token, he could type, and cook, and did the shopping and housework when he was off and Mama was at work. He was a thoroughly progressive, modern man. This wasn’t something that was ever really discussed, and wasn’t political in the least. It was simply the daily reality of the family getting on with getting on.

I could go on. And, of course, I could make a parallel list of things I got from Mama. But, in many ways, I am my Daddy’s little girl, and this little girl is going to miss her Daddy.

Butterscotch Pudding for My Dad

A couple of years ago, Penzey's spices gave away bumper stickers that said, "Love people. Cook them good food." I think most people who enjoy cooking understand that directive in a deep way. Cooking is such an act of nurturing, whether of other people or just yourself. More than providing sustenance, it can be an act of great love. Trying to please someone else by preparing food you think or know that they will enjoy is one of the best gifts you can give.

Usually this blog, and other food blogs, are about pushing boundaries, trying new things, and even (dare I say it?) showing off. American food culture has come so far in the last several decades that there's a never-ending source of things to cook and taste and write about. A lot of the food I think of as commonplace would have seemed exotic when I was in my teens and twenties, if it was even available. Like most of my peers, I typically steer away from the packaged and processed foods of my youth towards fresh ingredients, not to mention artisan this and organic that. I grew up in a household where scratch cooking was still the order of the day, but so was Cool Whip and Spaghetti-Os. It was the 70s, what can I say?

I've written quite a bit about my family recipes and culinary traditions, but today's post is special. My father has been very ill the last few months. The dreaded C word. Today he went to hospice. He's is alert and not in any pain, just needs care that we can no longer give him at home.

One of the issues we've faced is that he has no appetite, and many foods irritate his mouth. He's been living on Ensure and milk and yogurt and the like. Last weekend I picked up the ingredients for two of his favorite desserts in hopes of tempting him to eat a little more. The day after I arrived I asked him if he'd eat either one if I made it, and he chose one as being a likely candidate.

I measured out the milk into a saucepan, substituting a little half-and-half to boost the calorie content. I dumped in the package of Jell-O butterscotch pudding mix, whisked it in, and set it over the heat. Just like a million times in my childhood, I stirred the mixture as it gradually, gradually heated, making sure it didn't stick or lump up. Stirring a pot of pudding on the stove when you start with cold milk seems like a never-ending chore. I'm not the most patient person in the world, and I always thought that the person who wrote "a watched pot never boils" should have referred to pudding instead.

After what seemed like a year, though suddenly, as always, it started simmering and came to the boil that would cause it to thicken properly. Quickly, quickly, I poured the steaming mixture into four custard cups, leaving them on the counter to cool a bit before popping into the fridge. When they were sufficiently cool, Dad decided he'd try one. A little whipped cream from a can completed the dish.

He'd had some of those plastic cups with various pudding flavors, including butterscotch. But this ... this he ate with as much relish as anything these last few weeks. He even commented that it had a really good flavor, and ate nearly the whole thing -- a major accomplishment.

So yes, I'm a big fan of scratch cooking, and I don't make much from a package these days. Sometimes, though, the packaged stuff is just what the doctor ordered.

Picking the Right Flour for the Job

In most grocery stores you'll see many types of white wheat flours: all-purpose, cake,  bread, self-rising (if you are in the South), and sometimes pastry. Less common are the whole wheat varieties -- you can usually find whole wheat all-purpose flour easily, but whole wheat pastry flour and whole wheat bread flour are harder to come by. When I was growing up, we usually had all-purpose white flour, self-rising white flour, and cake flour on hand. The cake flour was always Swans Down, and the others were nearly always White Lily. I never heard of bread flour or pastry flour until I was grown! So ... what distinguishes these types of flours, and why should you care?

Missing: The bag of unbleached all-purpose white flour I have; it was way in the back of the
flour/cornmeal/sugar cabinet. Yes, I have an entire 2-door cabinet devoted to baking supplies.

Yeast Bread - Yes You Can!

When I was out on my own and expanding my culinary skills beyond the (very good) Southern basics I learned from my mom, I decided to tackle yeast bread for the first time. I had a number of failures, a number of mediocre loaves, but gradually with practice I got better. One day I came across this recipe for an enriched white loaf, and everything finally came together. I've been making this loaf since the mid-80s, and now I'm excited to finally share it.

Homemade Marshmallows - Yes, Virginia, It's Candy

A few years ago, homemade marshmallows were all the rage on cooking bulletin boards I frequent. I gave it a try. They were OK but kind of chewy and underwhelming. I thought, "Well, I've done that now. Meh." Then my sister Kellie tried them last year, and discovered where my effort probably had fallen short (or long, actually). It's been a while, but with the cold weather and the increased consumption of hot cocoa, I thought I'd try again. The improved result is below. They aren't difficult, but there are two crucial things you have to get right.

In a way, marshmallows are cubes of super-whipped Jell-O. A sugar & corn syrup mixture is cooked to 240F, then beaten into softened unflavored gelatin. The mixture is whipped and whipped at high speed in a stand mixer, and fluffs up into clouds of sticky goodness. Given that the syrup is cooked to a specific temperature, marshmallows are, by definition, candy.

Quickies, Part 2

Wrapping up reports from the Kellie & Leroy visitation last week ...

ChaChah

After the trip to Lynchburg & Jack Daniel with Mark & Barbara, we got back to Nashville and retreated to our various lodgings. Following a little refresh, we  reassembled at ChaChah, where we were joined by my friend Matt. I've mentioned ChaChah before; it's one of my favorite happy hour spots. One of four restaurants owned or co-owned by Top Chef contestant Arnold Myint, ChaCha specializes in Spanish-style food. Myint definitely spends time in the kitchen and restaurant in between media appearances and charity work, but day to day the kitchen is run by Francesco Vito.

We were not there in time for happy hour, but still took full advantage of the tapas options, passing plates around the table for tastes. Tapas are the Spanish version of appetizers; small portions that you can share or hoard, as desired. There's a daily menu of $5 and $7 tapas; many of these are standards, but a few seasonal specials rotate in and out. (The $5 tapas are half price at happy hour.) In addition, the regular menu has additional small plates -- slightly larger portions than most of the tapas -- plus the entrees. For me, a couple of tapas and/or small plate selections, plus perhaps a dessert, are plenty to make a meal.

There were enough of us to cut a wide swath through the menu. We ordered drinks, a round of tapas, then when that was done, another round, ending with desserts. ChaChah's food is creative, flavorful, and full of unexpected twists. Not every single dish may tickle your fancy, but there's enough variety to find something to please most everyone. If memory serves, between the six of us we sampled the macaroni & cheese, shrimp croustada, fried plantains, lamb balls, bacon & blue cheese dates, calamari, queso fundido, elotes, and hummus. We also tried some desserts -- of course Leroy got the special dessert of the day, a goat cheese flan with beet ice cream. He declared it good; the idea of beet ice cream wasn't appealing to most of us, although I did like the sound of goat cheese flan. I had the lemon coconut cake with lemon curd; the topping of a few leaves of micro basil was unusual but delicious with the lemon. Mark and Kellie got the chocolate cannoli and Barbara tried the ripe local berries with cream cheese ice cream.

We lingered and talked and laughed, enjoying a variety of cocktails, wine, and beer as well as the food. It was a fun evening, and it was nice to be able to sample such a wide variety of ChaChah's cuisine.

Fido

Fido is a mainstay of Hillsboro Village. Located in a space that was once actually a pet store (the outdoor sign proclaiming Jones Pet Store is still in place), it started as a coffee shop that was an outpost of Bongo Java on Belmont. It had its own personality, though -- the dog theme just being part of it. Over the years they have added more and more substantial food, and you can now eat 3 meals a day in this funky, bohemian restaurant. One bonus is that breakfast is served all day, and many of the breakfast offerings are savory and quite hearty. So, you can have eggs or a bagel at 2pm or a substantial breakfast sandwich at 9am. Since many of Fido's patrons are college students and musicians, both of whom can have unconventional schedules, this is a decided advantage. In addition, many dishes are vegetarian and even vegan, so there's something for everyone regardless of diet. Finally, not too long ago they started offering a small selection of beer and wine, making evening dining that much more attractive.

Kellie had been with me to Fido several times before but Leroy had not, so I suggested we visit there for their final meal in Nashville. We met mid-morning on Wednesday. The Bongo Java-roasted coffee was delicious as usual, and we all enjoyed our various types of eggs and trimmings. I also picked up a couple of dessert bars for later; that afternoon I enjoyed one of the best cream cheese brownies I think I've ever had.

Fido is a great spot for a beverage, a dessert, or a full meal any time of day. Follow them on Twitter if you'd like to get notifications of the daily lunch specials during the week, or visit their blog at http://www.fidospecials.blogspot.com. While the regular menu has a nice selection of solid, interesting selections, the specials are where they let their creative gourmet flag fly. For example, a few of the specials last week were:

• FRIED SHRIMP, POBLANO STONE GRITS, COCONUT SAUCE habanero, onion, garlic, curtido, mango hot
• RED & GOLD BEETS, ASPARAGUS, BROCCOLI CARAMEL VINAIGRETTE red onion, pistachio, chardonnay macerated raisins arugula, radish,goat cheese
• LINGUINE, SMOKED CHEDDAR SAUCE roasted carrot, oyster & shiitake mushroom, English peas, parmesan, toasted focaccia

For more info, you can also visit my review on Trip Advisor.

All in all, we did quite the tour. There are even more excellent restaurants and foodie activities in town, and more popping up every day, so I look forward to their next visit so we can continue to explore the expanding culinary opportunities.

Jack Daniel Distillery & Lynchburg

Picking up where we left off in the previous post ...

The rest of Kellie & Leroy's visit continued with an out-of-town adventure. Tuesday we joined Mark & Barbara for a day trip to Lynchburg, TN to visit the Jack Daniel Distillery. Despite my living in Nashville umpty-leven years, I'd never been; it was high time to cross this off my hometown tourist list. Mark served as our gracious chauffeur, and we arrived mid-morning; we could have taken the regular tour that runs frequently, but we wanted to do the special tour that includes the indoor parts of the distillery and ends in a tasting. That special tour only runs twice a day, and we'd missed the morning one. So, we signed up and paid our $10 each to join the 2:30 edition.

To pass the time, we sauntered over to downtown Lynchburg, just a couple of blocks away via a pleasant walkway. It was close to lunch time so we scoped out the options. The famous Miss Mary Bobo's Boarding House generally requires reservations and has fixed seating times; that didn't work for us. There are a couple of BBQ places and a couple of cafes. We picked the Iron Kettle.This is a typical small-town diner-type place, with burgers and sandwiches as well as meat-and-three meals. We didn't expect gourmet cuisine but the offerings were tasty enough for most of us, with a few creative touches. Thus fortified, we did a circuit of the square.

Several shops were closed. One shop was large and nicely appointed and essentially all Jack Daniel's merchandise -- I wonder if it is actually owned by Jack Daniel, since the distillery itself does not sell anything other than commemorative bottles of whiskey. There were many souvenir / knick knack / gift shops, as well as one genuine antique store and a needlecraft store, among others. The shops aren't really my style, but I bought my obligatory refrigerator magnet to commemorate the trip. We eventually wandered back to the distillery visitor center, which is attractive, spacious, and well-maintained. We perused the exhibits set up in the main lobby, and before long it was time for our tour.

All of the tours start in a small auditorium where you view a video that describes the history and culture of JD. Part informational, part advertisement, it sets the stage for the sights to come. After the video a group photo with your tour guide is taken (you may purchase a hard copy at the end of the tour, or download a digital copy from the web site later), then you hop on a shuttle bus for a very short trip up the hill to the first stop on the tour.

 

We toured the charcoal-making area, the original restored office building, the entrance to the cave where the famous iron-free spring is located (experiencing a good 30-degree drop in temperature in a matter of 20 feet), as well as the buildings where the various stages of distilling, filtering, ageing, bottling, etc. take place. The trip concluded in the tasting room where we were able to have sips of their three premium products: The twice-filtered Gentleman Jack; an exemplar of a single-barrel whiskey; and the newer version of JD that contains honey, molasses, and chestnut. I am not a fan of drinking straight liquor -- I prefer it with mixers -- and I'm not a huge fan of whiskey in general. I appreciated these tastes of pure product, though, especially after seeing the whole process start to finish. I have to say, I might need to pick up a bottle of the Tennessee Honey to mix with some ginger ale, as suggested by our tour guide.

All in all it was an informative, professionally-run tour. I would highly recommend the special tour -- I think the regular tour leaves out all of the truly interesting sights! Even if you're not a particular JD fan, it's a fun look at a unique operation, suitable for food and drink fans of all types.

Next post: Tapas and brunch

Quickies, Part 1

While Kellie & Leroy were in town, we enjoyed more than a few good meals and culinary adventures after the outing at eastland cafe. Here's a recap of Sunday and Monday.

Tavern

Lunch on Sunday was a sojourn to Tavern, an interesting midtown spot. It's a hyper-masculine space -- enormous chains hanging ceiling-to-floor, dark woods, concrete, many many TVs showing various sports channels. Because the decor is minimalist and modern, and the food is creative and goes beyond bar food and beer, however, thankfully it escapes the "sports bar" vibe. On the weekends they only serve their brunch menu until 3pm, so while I was able to get a burger, Kellie & Leroy opted for egg dishes and hash, which they enjoyed. The service at Tavern has never been very speedy, and that was compounded on this visit by the fact that they held some tables open while making us wait. This made our wait inordinately long; we stood there fanning ourselves, staring at empty tables, and parties who walked in after us get seated. On the one hand I can understand wanting to maximize seating capacity during a busy time, but on the other hand, holding up a party of 3 while numerous parties of 4 are seated makes said party of 3 a bit cranky.

Cookout

Sunday evening we gathered at the home of Mark & Barbara for a holiday weekend cookout. I brought some pre-dinner nibbles with a decidedly Spanish theme -- manchego and murcia al vino (drunken goat) cheeses, water crackers, and olive oil & salt almonds, plus those bread-and-butter pickles. Our hosts provided delicious bratwursts & cheese-stuffed burgers with all the trimmings, a nice green salad, and a decadent, cheesy hash brown casserole. Leroy and Kellie brought fixings for margaritas, and Leroy the former pastry chef also made a Gran Marnier sorbet to go with the cake he brought -- four thin chocolate layers with a hazelnut buttercream, finished with crushed almond brittle. It was quite the meal!

Chuy's

Monday, Kellie's actual birthday, was pretty low-key. Emergencies at work meant that Leroy had to work remotely from their hotel room, so we had lunch, then Kellie & I relaxed at my house for the afternoon. Lunch was at Chuy's Midtown, where I always sample waaay too much of the by-request-only creamy jalapeno dip with chips. I enjoyed the special enchiladas of the day:  Fresh pulled chicken inside, and an avocado-green-chile sauce that packed a punch. K & L enjoyed flautas and a sampler platter, respectively. For a chain restaurant, Chuy's does a pretty good job, and offers much more variety and innovation than your typical American-Mex joint. The food is fresh, the tortillas made in-house, the chips are perfectly thin and warm, and that Creamy Jalapeno Crack will always call me back.

Edley's

For dinner, I decided to show them my most recent discovery, Edley's. In addition to BBQ being American-holiday-appropriate, I knew that K & L would enjoy the high-quality sides as well as the quality of the main attraction. The joint was hoppin'; we were lucky to get a table. When we were in line to order, I heard one of the staff say they'd just pulled some chicken off the smoker, so that decided me: I had the chicken sandwich, which is garnished with both the red BBQ sauce and an Alabama-style white sauce. I opted for the potato salad again, and went for the carb trifecta with the macaroni and cheese. The chicken sandwich, again on that stellar bun, was terrific; the chicken was very moist. The mac and cheese was excellent as well. Kellie had the pork sandwich, and Leroy went for the enormous basket of fried pickles (a personal favorite of his), plus the pork dinner, with spicy cornbread, cole slaw, and Brunswick stew. Everyone declared their meals awesome.

P.S. Not long after we left, Edley's tweeted a photo of a sign they had just posted on their door. It had been so busy that day that they had run out of all their smoked meats, and had only wings, shrimp, and catfish left!

Next time: A day trip, plus tapas, and a mid-week brunch